Tuesday, December 12, 2006 

Oops, She Did It Again (and again and again) Now please stop...

Ah, how things change... It used to be that when I would tell someone, "Golly, Miss Britney Spears is as comely as an autumn sunrise" they would enthusiastically reply, You bet! She's the cat's pajamas! Methinks I'd endeavor to court the bonnie lass. Thou must maketh haste to render fitting niceties, forsooth!

--There is a small chance that the "guy talk" was slightly misquoted in the previous section--

But now
it seems that she has become a joke. The sad, scary kind of joke, that is. In fact when I say I still like Britney people pat me on the back encouragingly and say, "Really? It's okay; things will get better for you." Then they take me out for ice cream and a new bike...
In fact things are reportedly so bad that even Bette Midler is pulling no punches when she *ahem* "conjectures harshly regarding Ms. Spears' promiscuity." Yikes. How out-of-control do you have to be to have Bette Midler attacking you?!? Not only that but rumor has it that even Paris Hilton has pulled Spears aside and said, "Yeah... Girl, you really need to tone it down..." I will stay far, far away from Fed-Ex's babies' momma; she's Toxic!

Editors Note: For the visual, I didn't have time to wade through thousands of web pages to find a picture of Ms. Spears fully clothed, so my Britney will wear a Napoleon Dynamite shirt. Behold:

About me

  • I'm Mark
  • From Colorado Springs, Colorado, United States
  • As a rejection consultant, I hear it all. I like near-death novelty photos, teeth bling, puppies and discriminatorily neutral jeers: "Hey clean shirt!" I am, however; probably best know for the musical I did with Hitler. Jake Hitler, that is. He lived next door and we knitted afghans together (when we could catch them; they run fast!)
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